Tuesday haiku

When my brain's awake,  

the rest of my body screams  

out, "SHUT UP, ASSHOLE!"

Monday haiku

When my brain's awake,  

it's like a child at Christmas  

ready for presents

Weekend haiku

If your brain's doing  

the haiku dance, you might as  

well put on music  

--------------------------------------  

When my brain's awake,  

there's just a five percent chance  

I'll go back to sleep

Friday haiku

When you toast with your  

whiskey, you raise the glass to  

keep your spirits up

Thursday haiku

The president drinks  

whiskey from the bottle as  

he's leery of shots

Wednesday haiku

If Tylenol does  

cause autism, good whiskey  

just might be the cure

Tuesday haiku

Donald and Jeffrey  

must love whiskey, I hear they  

like fifteen-year-olds